(Don’t be embarrassed by) Your Trouble with Living
The work in this exhibition explores struggles with suicide from individual and societal perspectives, and aims to make a space where healthy dialogue can happen. Despite reports that 10 million adults in the US have serious thoughts of suicide each year, talking about this topic continues to remain taboo.
Installation photos by Wes Magyar.
Keep Out of the Soil
Feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, hopelessness, or indifference are often at the root of suicidal ideation. These feelings can build and inaccurately support theories that things would be better through suicide. Isolation, self-harm, and unhealthy tendencies can develop as a result of these feelings. These paintings address various ways in which this pattern has manifested itself in my own life.
We’ll Keep on Fighting
I wanted to make portraits for this exhibition. Often, the topic of suicide can become dry and faceless as individuals become numbers in a statistic. The first instinct was to portray famous suicides, but that risked romanticising the action. Then I thought of making portraits from suicide obituaries, which felt far too exploitive. These portraits are of people close to me, myself included, who are living and fighting and pushing through. Each has a different cause for suicidal ideation, and each has found their own necessary tools for enduring.
But At Least I Exist
When I began working on this exhibition, I had the idea to paint the same plant each month for a year. It seemed fitting that while working on the topic of suicide, I force myself to learn to keep something alive, since I’m not always the best at that. Four paintings in, the plant died. It gave no warning signs.
It’s Helpful, It’s Important, It’s Essential
There is a lot of advice available on how to help those combating suicidal thoughts or tendencies. The advice is usually aimed at those who don’t struggle on how to help those that do struggle. The advice for those who do struggle usually remains “Call this number if you are in crisis” which is very important information to have, but lacking.
These drawings are directed at those who do struggle. Each of these are things that I have found to be helpful and important and essential in my experience. They are verbs. They require action. For each drawing, start the instruction with “It’s helpful…” or “It’s important…” or “It’s essential…”
This Isn’t Timely or Trendy
Statistically speaking, someone dies by suicide every 40 seconds. Each of these deaths is distinct and specific, motivated by an individual’s thoughts, experiences, and struggles. When discussing the topic of suicide, it is vital for us to feel the weight of these numbers while fighting to remember the individuals represented by the statistic. The importance of remembering these individuals isn’t new and it isn’t going away.
